12/2/18
Mind-Body Healing
Childhood abuse is rampant in our culture and has been for many generations. There are many forms of child abuse. Childhood sexual abuse used to be secret--and still is to some extent. Freud was castigated by his colleagues for opening this can of worms...and he backpedaled on it to save his career. But I want to emphasize there are many more forms of child abuse that still are not recognized by our culture as being abuse. They all severely affect the child's present and future health. They affected yours!
Read the following list twice--once from the view point of your own childhood self and then from the view point of view of your adult or parent self.
Now those of you who are parents, very likely, will have done many of these things. I did. And you may disagree that some. are abuse at all. But ask yourself how you liked being the recipient of them as a child yourself. If you are feeling guilty after reading the list, allow that. Feel the feelings, then ask your Inner Being to help you to allow that you were "off" and that you will aim to be more aligned with better choices in the future.
Here are some unidentified forms of abuse that are much more debilitating to a child than most people realize:
So back to you as an abused child--and everyone is to one degree or another--know that the abuse has not yet been general recognized by our culture. It's still a secret from the self and within society.
If the abuse is bad enough and still "secret" the worst part of that secretiveness is the "victims" own dissociation. Many children dissociate during sexual abuse. And most of the abusers and their "turn-a-blind-eye" partners or observers, tell themselves that their child will "just forget it," and "children don't remember these things." In a way they are dissociating from their own natural pain and guilt that they feel when they are abusing a child. They are dissociating and rationalizating. And in other forms of child abuse the child and adult both dissociate from facing the "offness" of the adults' behavior. Our society, in general, has disscociated from all the abuse it heaps on children, self and others.
With childhood sexual abuse, while the conscious mind of the child often does NOT remember it, the subconscious, or "inner child" DOES recall the incidents. It just gets swept into a corner of the psyche where it is ignored by the conscious mind. The conscious mind, when the abuse, happened could not handle it. It was literally unbearable. So it left in order to continue to stay alive.
It was either die or bury it. Some do die. I did, but came back--a near death experience at 2 years old. I didn't recall my own abuse until I was 34--during another traumatic event. I "forgot" 11 years of sex abuse! Many do the same. Some never recall. Those who do are so retraumatized they seek comfort in sharing it with others. However, many find that in trying to share the depth of their shock about their recall with others they think should be sympathetic...find that they are not. Then they are doubly traumatized! So, if you have a recall, be very careful who you share it with and don't allow their turning away, or minimizing, or unsatisfactory response to turn yourself away from what you now know you need to work with...with your Inner being. Begin a process of meditation and inviting your Inner Being to come to you. Talk with that BRILLIANT part of yourself. You will get the most perfect and satisfying response from that Being.
However, if you can't do either...find a truly sympathic and undertsnaind "other" or your Inner Being...and instead you sweep it --again--into a corner, under a rug, or into the so-called "subconscious mind" where it is ignored, it will still be operational--but extremely confusing. The conscious mind will go on attempting to make good life choices and frequently find itself stymied by it's own self-destructive choices, which it cannot seem to stop. Digging deeper and allowing your true feelings to come up--feeling them as fully as you can. And trying again to Invite Divine Guidance to lead you to healing.
The upside of dissociation is that, the child (you or yours) lays down psychic pathways to the Higher Self (Inner Being) on a higher plane of human existence during dissociation. There it can get guidance to carry on and eventually to heal. The native Americans have a saying, "never hit (abuse physically or verbally) a child, because their soul goes away." I would rephrase it to say that the soul personality consciousness leaves the body and goes back "Home" to its Soul--aka Higher Self , or Vaster Inner Being.
Many professional psychics report having been sexually abused as children. They found the hard way Home while still alive. After the "death" transformation, everyone goes Home, but the abused and the enlightened can learn how to go Home while still living on the Earth Plane. From Home we can see much more of Truth. We can even see the future and we can understand everything better.
So below is a link to an article about the physical symptoms that are related to both each other and to childhood abuse. The author of the article recommends some medicine aimed at just the body. I call that "physical to physical" healing attempts. I do not believe they ever work. If they seem to work it is because of some mental emotional shift has occurred in the person with the symptoms. Some of these physical symptoms have been researched and proven to have a high correlation to childhood sexual abuse. I believe they all could be proven to be related to sexual abuse...or one form of abuse or another. Click on this link to see a list of physical problems associated with childhood sexual abuse:
PHYSICAL SYMPTOMS POINTING TO POSSIBLE (disscoiated) CHILDHOOD SEXUAL ABUSE
I am not recommending that you take the supplement they suggest. First try doing the Vesica Piscis Healing Method.
If you have these symptoms, I highly recommend that you go inward in meditation and or prayer to your Inner Being and ask for help to heal the limiting beliefs you came away from the abuse with. Children always try to make sense of the abuse. They make sweeping deductions that quickly become deepset beliefs. They become so big that it's very hard to see them! Usually these beliefs boil down to something like:
One caveat about that last point. Sometimes when we follow what is best for us others feel hurt at firstpoint we need to turn within and check with our Inner Being. They will send us messages via our feelings. When we are alone in our bed, confused because of some accusation like the above we can ask IB what is truth? The answer will come as a feeling. If while you are considering making a decision about a certain thing, try getting as alone and comfortable as you can. Close your eyes. Picture a road in front of you. You are walking down your present-life-road. Now up ahead, the road splits and there is a sign post at the crux of the Y. One way points to one choice. The other way points to another option. Go down one road first and just notice how you feel. Then try the other road and again try to notice how you REALLY feel...not how you think you should feel.
The best choice will make you feel lighter, happier and more energized...no matter what you "think". Your genuine feelings are MUCH more valuable and trustworth than your best thinking.
Mind-Body Healing
Childhood abuse is rampant in our culture and has been for many generations. There are many forms of child abuse. Childhood sexual abuse used to be secret--and still is to some extent. Freud was castigated by his colleagues for opening this can of worms...and he backpedaled on it to save his career. But I want to emphasize there are many more forms of child abuse that still are not recognized by our culture as being abuse. They all severely affect the child's present and future health. They affected yours!
Read the following list twice--once from the view point of your own childhood self and then from the view point of view of your adult or parent self.
Now those of you who are parents, very likely, will have done many of these things. I did. And you may disagree that some. are abuse at all. But ask yourself how you liked being the recipient of them as a child yourself. If you are feeling guilty after reading the list, allow that. Feel the feelings, then ask your Inner Being to help you to allow that you were "off" and that you will aim to be more aligned with better choices in the future.
Here are some unidentified forms of abuse that are much more debilitating to a child than most people realize:
- not honoring a child's emotional and physical feelings and preferences
- forcing a child to do anything
- being angry with a child
- teaching a child to learn and accept your fears as true
- being fearful and worried for your child
- spanking or otherwise physically abusing a child, or threatening them with same
- having sex in any form with a child--licking them; tickling or otherwise stimulating their private parts; tongue kissing; forcing them to touch you or accept your male organ into their mouth, anus or vagina; forcing a child to touch your sexual parts; forcing them to watch you as you sexually stimulate yourself or another; sharing sexual pictures with them--even "soft porn" like Plaboy.
- yelling at a child
- depriving a child of something needed or wanted as a way to punish them
- any punishment at all and telling them "this hurts me more than you"--even though that is true. The punisher is always diminished more than the punished...although it may not be immediately apparent.
- any withholding or love, attention, approval, appreciation and genuinely simple affectionate touch and words (without sexual overtones)
- not telling a child they are loved, they are a beautiful God-Being, they are effective and creative
- making the child overly reliant on yours or other's approval. Instead ask them how they feel about their creation...and give them approval for any positive feelings. If they compare themselves to others, discourage that. And ask again how they themselves feel about it. Then lastly give them your honest positive reactions to all or part of their creative endeavor.
- ignoring the child
- frequently interrupting the child... meanwhile often telling them they shouldn't interrupt others
- correcting the child's manners or coaching about polite manners (e.g. "Say thank you." Their honesty is more important. Ask if they enjoyed something or some part of what another did. Tell them the other person might enjoying hearing about your appreciation. Ask them if they feel like sharing their appreciation with the person. Honor their decision.
- forcing the child to do anything you think they should do but they don't.
- not recognizing that every child comes equipped with knowing what they need and want. They should be trusted.
- leaving a child alone or unprotected
- ignoring the child's feelings
- telling them to "suck it up" in any form
- passing on one's own low self esteem by projecting worthlessness onto the child
- projecting one's own feelings of guilt (earned or unearned) onto the child and punishing them in any way for your supposed "sins."
- talking down to a child as if they were not as fully intelligent as you
- not recognizing that children actually know more than the adults around them (life in this world culture, in this era, is a process of forgetting our original wisdom.)
- laughing at, suppressing or otherwise diminishing a child's extra-sensory perceptions and other spiritual abilities.
- telling a child not to be high-spirited and energetic
- shaming a child about their sexual interest or expression
- taking one's own frustrations--related to the child or not-- out on the child
- hating seeing vulnerability in one's child. Wanting to attack them for it, verbally or physically. And "trying to toughen them up."
- using them to express one's own hidden anger and wish to "get back at people" or undermine them, by allowing poor behavior on the child's part. (be careful about determining what is poor behavior
- using a child as your surrogate partner--emotionally or physically
- not allowing them all the freedom possible (e.g. putting them into the "Compulsory Education System) (presently most schools have very child-happiness-destructive philosophies and curriculums)
- forcing one's child to go anywhere they don't want to--including school
- adults ignoring the fact that "The Light" goes out in most children as they progress through what we think of as necessary education (left brain dominant education).
- ignoring emotional and physical symptoms of unhappiness and lack of well being in the child
- indulging a child's poor or aggressive behavior that you don't like. Hiding your true feelings. The child knows the adult is lying and will push them to the wall to be emotionally honest. But one should only react from a genuinely neutral or positive state--when you are under emotionally non-aggressive and can articulate or show your feelings in a way they can understand and use.
- being dishonest with a child--especially about your own honest emotions. "What's wrong Mommy? Why are you crying? Why are you crying?" "Oh I'm fine. There's nothing wrong." Forced smile. FAKE! It is extremely confusing to a child.
- dominating a child with one's own will..."breaking their spirit", allowing others to the same to your child
- not protecting your child from other's abuse of them
- giving in to whining. Whining is really saying "I want this, but I don't really expect to get it." If you "give up the goods" just to shut them up, you are sending a wrong message that will not serve them well. They need to have a matching vibration to the thing they want. Talk with them about whining really means.
- Most importantly...not telling them that while you and everyone else is very imperfect and cannot give them everything they need, is abuse, one CAN tell them that they DO have an Inner Being who can give them all the unconditional love, good guidance and the essence of everything else they want. Bed time prayers to Inner Being are very helpful. Telling the child their Inner Being is with them now and always is extremely important. IB can help them with anything small or large.
- Saying anything that implies that "God" or Inner Being does not exist or cannot help in any way. In essence that's separating the child from their own God-Being-Self. That is the biggest abuse/crime of all.
- Ignoring your own honest emotions around the child or in reference to the child. There's always a way for both adult and child to get what they need.
So back to you as an abused child--and everyone is to one degree or another--know that the abuse has not yet been general recognized by our culture. It's still a secret from the self and within society.
If the abuse is bad enough and still "secret" the worst part of that secretiveness is the "victims" own dissociation. Many children dissociate during sexual abuse. And most of the abusers and their "turn-a-blind-eye" partners or observers, tell themselves that their child will "just forget it," and "children don't remember these things." In a way they are dissociating from their own natural pain and guilt that they feel when they are abusing a child. They are dissociating and rationalizating. And in other forms of child abuse the child and adult both dissociate from facing the "offness" of the adults' behavior. Our society, in general, has disscociated from all the abuse it heaps on children, self and others.
With childhood sexual abuse, while the conscious mind of the child often does NOT remember it, the subconscious, or "inner child" DOES recall the incidents. It just gets swept into a corner of the psyche where it is ignored by the conscious mind. The conscious mind, when the abuse, happened could not handle it. It was literally unbearable. So it left in order to continue to stay alive.
It was either die or bury it. Some do die. I did, but came back--a near death experience at 2 years old. I didn't recall my own abuse until I was 34--during another traumatic event. I "forgot" 11 years of sex abuse! Many do the same. Some never recall. Those who do are so retraumatized they seek comfort in sharing it with others. However, many find that in trying to share the depth of their shock about their recall with others they think should be sympathetic...find that they are not. Then they are doubly traumatized! So, if you have a recall, be very careful who you share it with and don't allow their turning away, or minimizing, or unsatisfactory response to turn yourself away from what you now know you need to work with...with your Inner being. Begin a process of meditation and inviting your Inner Being to come to you. Talk with that BRILLIANT part of yourself. You will get the most perfect and satisfying response from that Being.
However, if you can't do either...find a truly sympathic and undertsnaind "other" or your Inner Being...and instead you sweep it --again--into a corner, under a rug, or into the so-called "subconscious mind" where it is ignored, it will still be operational--but extremely confusing. The conscious mind will go on attempting to make good life choices and frequently find itself stymied by it's own self-destructive choices, which it cannot seem to stop. Digging deeper and allowing your true feelings to come up--feeling them as fully as you can. And trying again to Invite Divine Guidance to lead you to healing.
The upside of dissociation is that, the child (you or yours) lays down psychic pathways to the Higher Self (Inner Being) on a higher plane of human existence during dissociation. There it can get guidance to carry on and eventually to heal. The native Americans have a saying, "never hit (abuse physically or verbally) a child, because their soul goes away." I would rephrase it to say that the soul personality consciousness leaves the body and goes back "Home" to its Soul--aka Higher Self , or Vaster Inner Being.
Many professional psychics report having been sexually abused as children. They found the hard way Home while still alive. After the "death" transformation, everyone goes Home, but the abused and the enlightened can learn how to go Home while still living on the Earth Plane. From Home we can see much more of Truth. We can even see the future and we can understand everything better.
So below is a link to an article about the physical symptoms that are related to both each other and to childhood abuse. The author of the article recommends some medicine aimed at just the body. I call that "physical to physical" healing attempts. I do not believe they ever work. If they seem to work it is because of some mental emotional shift has occurred in the person with the symptoms. Some of these physical symptoms have been researched and proven to have a high correlation to childhood sexual abuse. I believe they all could be proven to be related to sexual abuse...or one form of abuse or another. Click on this link to see a list of physical problems associated with childhood sexual abuse:
PHYSICAL SYMPTOMS POINTING TO POSSIBLE (disscoiated) CHILDHOOD SEXUAL ABUSE
I am not recommending that you take the supplement they suggest. First try doing the Vesica Piscis Healing Method.
If you have these symptoms, I highly recommend that you go inward in meditation and or prayer to your Inner Being and ask for help to heal the limiting beliefs you came away from the abuse with. Children always try to make sense of the abuse. They make sweeping deductions that quickly become deepset beliefs. They become so big that it's very hard to see them! Usually these beliefs boil down to something like:
- "I did something bad or wrong.
- I am a bad person.
- I am guilty of something...not sure what--maybe everything.
- I need to make ammends.
- I can never make ammends enough.
- I am unworthy and unlovable.
- I don't deserve good stuff or a nice life.
- People are scary.
- I'll wear a protective shell of...fat, or addictions, or chronic anger and attacking, sarcasm, super sophistication, chronic depression, powerlessness, chronic victim-feelings. Like, "Oh, well that always happens to me <:-( "
- Everyone is always trying/going to hurt me.
- Life is scary.
- I need to get control!
- Others are to blame. (I don't dare look at my own shared role in co-creating events. To do that would mean I was bad and wrong and my ego-identified self cannot bear that. I must pass the buck.
- I should always put others first--in order to be safe--or to be a good person according to my religion or my family--or my culture. I should use myself and allow others to use me.
One caveat about that last point. Sometimes when we follow what is best for us others feel hurt at firstpoint we need to turn within and check with our Inner Being. They will send us messages via our feelings. When we are alone in our bed, confused because of some accusation like the above we can ask IB what is truth? The answer will come as a feeling. If while you are considering making a decision about a certain thing, try getting as alone and comfortable as you can. Close your eyes. Picture a road in front of you. You are walking down your present-life-road. Now up ahead, the road splits and there is a sign post at the crux of the Y. One way points to one choice. The other way points to another option. Go down one road first and just notice how you feel. Then try the other road and again try to notice how you REALLY feel...not how you think you should feel.
The best choice will make you feel lighter, happier and more energized...no matter what you "think". Your genuine feelings are MUCH more valuable and trustworth than your best thinking.
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