WHAT AM I FEELING?

Updated 12/2/18

WHAT AM I FEELING?

If you have read the Vesica Piscis Self Healing  and got stopped in your tracks by question 2 about identifying emotions...AND... you are not sure what you are feeling. Or you just need help identifying what you are feeling--read on...

Or if you think you are just happy and easy going all the time, BUT YOU DO HAVE CANCER...know that there are some disturbing emotion and awareness that has been pushed into the subconscious. The body always accurately reflects the condition of the spirit or mind--both conscious and subconscious. But the subconscious material is not all that hard to uncover as some therapies might suggest. Several ways of accessing it are shared in this blog. And I will be adding more later.

WHEN CONSIDERING THIS UNCONSCIOUS MATERIAL KNOW THAT ONE PART OF YOU--OR SELF--IS AFRAID OF KNOWING WHAT IS THERE--EVEN WHILE ANOTHER PART OF YOU WANTS TO KNOW. 

So you can use the Vesica Piscis symbol and process to dissolve that conflict and find out what both parts of you are wanting at the bottom--which is always the same thing.

Keep in mind as you read this that while we do in fact create the mental and emotional conditions that allow for cancer and other illnesses, WE ARE NOT TO BLAME! No one is blaming you! Do not judge yourself for having cancer and know that no one else is either. Have compassion for yourself as I have compassion for you. It is challenging to face a truth we have been afraid of. But I guarantee you, once uncovered you will be relieved! THE TRUTH SHALL SET YOU FREE!

This entire posting is an exercise for you to try and get past step 2 of the brochure which can be accessed at the main page of this website.

Many Selves

First of all you need to know that we are made up of several selves--or so it feels to us when we look closely at ourselves. Imagine yourself as a bus traveling down the highway of life with several people on board--several different parts of yourself. Here are some of the cast of characters who might be on board and that you need to understand a bit better in order to discover:  what you are feeling, where the inner conflict is between selves, and how to heal yourself of cancer.

• We have an Ego, who usually is the spokes-person for our whole self--as adults in Western Culture. He is the one usually driving the bus and is often a real control freak. He likes separation and individuality. But others do jump into the drivers seat from time to time and take the bus where they want to go.
• For instance The Divine Child Self may occasionally take the wheel, but usually only when the Ego is too tired to care about trying to drive anymore. S/He is the part of us who was driving the bus most of the time when we were a baby or a young child. But as we grew older we allowed the ego to drive more and more often. Our Divine Child is our closest aspect to Our God Self. S/He feels Oneness, "group-ness" and compassion easily. S/He loves animals and Nature. Loves to play.  S/He is highly creative and innovative. S/he loves to make art, to dance, to sing etc.--but does not like being told how to do that. She likes to improvise--that is allow her Soul to inform her as to what she would like to do next and how to do it.She is a positively emotional self--and is very powerful for having that gift.
• There may also be a Wounded Child Self and s/he likes to poke a stick into the spokes of the ego's plans. S/he feels so dissed, so powerless and so angry that her only sense of power is to be able to mess other people up--or her own Ego self. She tends to feel like a victim, and is sometimes self righteous about it if she still has access to her anger. But if she does not, then she just looks like a victim--even of herself. This child is also emotional--but in a negative way.
• The Body Self has it's own consciousness,  which is closely connected to the soul and emotions.
• There can be many others: a parent self, an adult child self, an employee, or employer self, a friend self, a spouse self, a sibling self--etc. These categories can also be broken down into positive and negative aspects.

Using The VP Symbol 

So consider this Vesica Piscis symbol above. Copy it onto a sheet of paper making the diameter about 5 inches across with two overlapping smaller circles within.  Then make a list of all the different "selves" you can identify. Consider which ones might be in conflict. When you have selected two who might be in conflict, place their titles inside of the two smaller circles on a diagram you have drawn of the VP symbol above.

The following is an example of a pretty common conflict between the Ego Self and The Divine Child Self.

Example:

So, for a few minutes there may have been  a terrible conflict--between The Ego Self on one side and the three weaker selves on the other side. So in this example you would put the ego on the right side and the three other selves on the left--within the two smaller circles of the diagram. I chose a small example of a conflict, which in and of itself cannot cause cancer. However, if this SORT of thing happens often with large and small issues--where the intellect or ego is always over-riding the intuitive child self--then it points to what is a much larger problem.

We are at a point in human history where we are being challenged--and challenging ourselves--to begin to take better care of our inner child. She is much wiser than the adult in many ways. S/he is closely connected to the God Self who always wants us to stop doing things THAT DON'T FEEL GOOD! She wants us to trust that we will be safer if we just do stuff that feels good. That is the bottom line of how to use the emotions as a "Guidance System." This is from Abraham as channeled by Esther Hicks.

What am I Feeling?

So let's say you are still not clear as to what the dominant negative emotion is that you may have experienced for about 2 years prior to your diagnosis (but it may be shorter or longer than 2 yrs.)

What you can do now is think again about what seems to not be working in your life. What situation or person makes you feel bad when they come to mind? Is it school? work? marriage? other relationship? Who and what in your life makes you feel the worst now. When did it begin and  what were the circumstances? You may have to watch closely and grab it fast--before a well-meaning self slaps a happy face on it and you lose the underlying emotional reality of something negative going on.

Another Exercise

If you still cannot access a negative emotion try this exercise in expanding your understanding.

1. Understand that when something is too painful or frightening for us to face, we may push it into our subconscious minds. The subconscious is really just a collection of thoughts and events that we have sent to the "Trash Folder," on our life desk-top, to put it in computer language. Or you sent these feelings and thoughts to the landfill to be buried. Both are still accessible to the conscious mind, with a some work. But we have thus far chosen to look away from that uncomfortable smelly stuff. Maybe we choose to believe that we are flexible, cheerful people and those negative events just rolled off us like water off a duck's back. "Nothing bothers me!" "I am happy go-lucky, and flexible." "Or I am really strong and just suck it up when life gives me lemons." <:* (puckered mouth).
2.  Understand too that negative feelings may be so systemic and/or powerful, and we may feel it so constantly and so terribly, that it may have become our default demeanor and almost impossible to see. We can't see the forest because all those  trees are in the way. We can't see the larger shape of the problem.
3. Understand that many people experience trauma in childhood--of sexual trauma--that they bury in their subconscious minds. They have thoroughly forgotten it--it would seem. It was too painful to experience fully at the time and so it had to go in the "trash" bin. Called, dissociation. But now that we are older, with help and support, we can handle knowing what happened. It may be upsetting for awhile, but it is better to get to know the wounded child who keeps sticking her stick into the spokes of our success-wheel all the time and keeping us from having, doing and being what we want...like a cancer-free body. Yes, those festering rotting hidden emotions in the trash grow into tumors and such. If we don't pay attention to the stench and clean up the old mess, the rot may become so pervasive and systemic--throughout  our being--that we slide into ever increasing ill health and finally death. But then we are reborn into another happier reality--so it is not a big deal in a way.
4. So ask yourself if it is most likely you are a "trauma-stuffer" or a "happy-face plasterer." They are both the same really. Just two different ways of avoiding unpleasant truths.
5. Next just KNOW--that the old dictum "THE TRUTH SHALL SET YOU FREE" is absolutely true. Believe it and see if saying  the following affirmations for a while doesn't free up the log jam in your emotions and in your body. Try something  like "I am willing to know the truth behind my illness." And I am willing to heal." Say and write them often until they become like a mantra. It will allow the Universe to send you the information you need...just as it sent you here? If you are into prayer--then pray for truth and freedom. 
6. When you get the answer pray for the strength to use it. Allow yourself to feel all your feelings fully for a while. As they begin to wane, try to move yourself up the scale of emotions below by one notch.
7. Finally, when you get the picture of what emotions you have been avoiding and what the conflict is in your life that is related to the emotions--put them on your drawing of the Vesica Piscis that you made above. Put the negative emotions and aspect and part of the situation on the right and the positive on the left. 

Another Way to Access the Emotions Behind the Cancer.

This is an advanced process. It helps if you know how to meditate. But basically, sit in a quiet place and allow yourself to relax deeply. As you take three deep breaths say to yourself : #1,  "mind relax." #2,  "emotions relax," #3  "body relax." Allow yourself to slide down deeply towards sleep, but hovering just above it. Then direct your full awareness into the place where the cancer is. If you are feeling pain, go deeply and fully into the pain. As you do this allow any emotions and images and thoughts to come up.

Those emotions are the ones that point to the basic limiting belief that you need to let go of in order to heal. Ask yourself, "What belief led me to feel this way?

Going back to your Vesica Piscis diagram, put the negative emotion on the right and its positive antithesis on the left. (Or which ever side feels right to you.) Then do the same with the negative belief and its antithesis. Then consider, if there is a loving God--and there is--who sent me this disease in order to garner greater spiritual wisdom...what could I learn from these opposites. What are both sides trying to lead me to that is in the middle. What is the lowest-common- denominator-desire behind the selves who hold these conflicting beliefs and emotions.

Another Way to Access Subconscious Emotions or Repressed Material...DREAMS.

Our dreams are wonderful sources of truth. I suggest that you read Dr. Gayle Delaney's book, Living Your Dreams.  Or watch for more information on using your dreams to heal cancer at this website--but on a separate page entitled "DREAMS AS HEALERS."

One quick method is called "Dream Incubation". You simply get a dream journal and pen. Write down the question: "What emotion is causing this cancer." Say it to yourself three times as you fall asleep. Write down whatever dream you recall when you awaken. If you don't recall a dream, write down the first thoughts and feelings that you became aware of as you awoke.

The Third Way

So now we are in the space in between--in the center of the Vesica Piscis. In there lies the answer to your healing. The "center" is where we alL want to be. It is the place of the most positive power.

Meditate on all that you have learned so far. Trust that there is a common ground of mutual benefit for all elements that seem to be in conflict. There is a way to solve this problem or dilemma if you keep looking for it and knowing it is there. Know that simply by giving thanks for the "conflict" and even the cancer-- that is simply a symbol of un-addressed psycho-spiritual issues--you will begin to make big strides in healing and that healing can be very rapid. I have seen complete healing of cancer happen in a month, a week, a couple of days...YES. Cancer is not hard to heal when you know:

1. WHERE to look--WITHIN--on the mental-emotional level of your being
2. HOW to look--using the Vesica Piscis Method
3. WHEN  to look--if an illness as serious as cancer is showing up, your soul is telling you that you are over due for facing the truth and changing some pet negative belief that has stopped you from moving ahead in life. There would have been other negative events earlier on that were not as lethal--an accident, a painful relationship  etc. Each time we ignore a clue and skate past a maturation point without doing the work, the soul sends us something yet more difficult to deal with--not as punishment--but rather just as stronger incentive to let go of some negative limiting belief and to adopt a new positive expanding one--the antithesis of the negative.

EMOTIONS:

• fear, anxiety, terror
• apathy, depression
• grief, sadness, despair, hopelessness
• anger, rage, resentment
• jealousy, covetousness, snarky belittling behavior, competitiveness
• shame
• meanness
• desire for revenge

etc.

Many Blessings for you in your work/play--and do make it as playful as possible--enjoy your tears or rage and your new revelations--AND YOUR HEALING!

If you don't achieve healing as soon as you think you should and are getting discouraged. Just leave the process for a while. Go back to affirming that healing will come to you at the right time. Know that this process does work. There are no failures associated with it. But there may be temporary delays. Do not judge yourself, the process or me for that matter. For all the keys are in here--just be patient and persistent, when spirit moves you to try and go deeper with this.

Blessings,

Brenda